Home - Uncategorized - My Mother’s Death and How it Affected My Family

My Mother’s Death and How it Affected My Family

Posted on April 23, 2019 in Uncategorized

In April 2007 my mother became very ill. In the few days before Easter she had what seemed like a normal cold. When she showed no sign of healing and actually got worse we knew something was wrong. She was spending more time in her room not wanting to get out of bed. She did not even want to go to bingo which had been her routine to go several times a week for what was going on years.

When Easter came she gathered her strength and made it through a family gathering for more than one event. We were hosting Easter dinner, my sons 2nd birthday and the baby shower for my unborn daughter all in one day. Towards the end of the day my Mother said goodbye and went downstairs to her room to lay down. After all the friends and family had left our house I went down to her room to see how she was doing. No improvement, her condition actually seemed to get worse. The next day she was coughing up thick bright green mucus so I told her that I wanted to drive her to the emergency room. She agreed to go and on april 09, 2007 in the late hours of the night about 10 pm we made our way to Sutter Roseville emergency room.

By the time we got there my mom could barely stand or walk on her own. she was shaking like a wet dog.
The staff got us back into a room very quickly and the proceeded to take blood from an i.v. add fluids to her system and take chest x-rays. They then discharged us very quickly. Told us that my mom had bronchitus and gave her a prescription for some cough syrup and antibiotics.

We stopped by sonic burger and got some drinks and tator tots. My mom kept saying to me “Thank you so much Tati if you hadn’t taken me to the hospital I could’ve died.” She kept repeating this over and over saying how much she appreciated me being there for her when she needed me to be all these years. Our next destination was Walgreens pharmacy on Madison Ave and Dewey Dr. in Fair Oaks. When we got there and turned in the prescription they informed us that the antibiotics she was prescribed were not covered by her insurance so they would call the hospital and find a suitable replacement medication for her so we walked around Walgreens until they got it cleared up. At this time it was about 1 am. After all the confusion we were on our way home.

The next day the weather was very nice and sunny outside. My mom was feeling much better so we decided to go out and do a little yard work together.. well i did the work and my mom sat on the porch keeping me company. At this point I should not have been doing to much physical activity considering i was about 6 1/2 months pregnant. I remember the sun was so bright and warm that i got a tan line between my shirt and my pants on my back, which is unusual because I never tan not even in a bathing suit out in the sun for 6 hours. After a few hours outside we decided it would be best to go inside so my mother could rest.

The rest of the day was unlike any other but my mother spent it in bed watching tv and visiting with the family. I cooked dinner that night and put the kids to bed for my mom since she was not feeling well enough to do it herself. I then visited with my mom for a while telling her goodbye and I love her before I made my way out for the night. That was the last time I spoke to her ever. I made it home very late that night and when I did my mother was asleep for the night which was normal.

On April 11 the very next day, when I woke my mother was still asleep. She stayed asleep for several hours which led us to believe that she was sleeping off whatever illness was taking over. We left a glass of fluids by the bed which seemed to emptying throughout the day so we assumed that she was waking up to drink then falling back asleep. The whole day she was sleeping she was breathing loudly almost snoring so we thought she was ok.
At about 7 am I was woken by my moms boyfriend who was saying to me “tati help me wake your mom up i cant do it” at that exact moment I knew something was terribly wrong. I went in the room and the bottom half of her body was purple, black and blue. She had brown fluid leaking out of her nose and mouth. I called 911 and the tried to tell me how to preform CPR. I could not understand in my state of panic and shock. I rolled my mother onto the ground from the bed and tried to resuscitate her but i had no luck.
When the paramedics got to our house they tried to save her, with medication and i.v.’s and a defibrillator. They loaded her up in the ambulance and took her to mercy san juan hospital. I followed in my car.

When I arrived they led me to a small room with 2 chairs and a small couch. Then told me to wait and someone would come see me soon and explain what was going on.. It seemed like forever in that small box of a room. Finally a nun came to see me and she told me that my mother had passed. I was so filled with horror and sadness. It seemed like a bad dream I was going to wake from soon. But no such luck. The Doctor came out and told me that they tried to work on her and save her but the best they could estimate was that she was already dead when the paramedics arrived. they said she had passed sometime in the night. Then they handed me a bag with all her jewelry she was wearing upon arrival.

I was then faced with the horrible job of calling everyone in my family and telling them that my mom had died. When you have such a large family its a daunting task. I first called my best friend so she could come to the hospital and support me in the task. I then had to call my grandmother and my sister, then my brother and they all came to the hospital. We were allowed an amount of time to see her body and have much needed closure. Believe me sometimes you just have to see it to actually believe it.

I think one of the worse sickening things I had the responsibility of doing was telling my youngest brothers and sister that mommy was not coming back ever. Soon after I got home and had to deal with that, many of my family members came by to support us,with food and telling good memories. There was a lot of crying just as I am as I sit here and write this now. You never realize how close your family is until a tragedy happens. That was by far one of the worst days of my life. I look back on it now and the only comfort I have is to know that she passed away peacefully in her sleep without pain and suffering and she is in a better place now guiding me and watching over my family.

It has been really hard without her and I miss her every day.. Sometimes I am angry with her for leaving me unprepared and it ripping my siblings away from me but I know there is a greater purpose for all of us and these things happen exactly how they are supposed to.. you know in the greater scheme of things.
I like to think that she is helping me every day do the right thing and make the right decisions for my family.